"MAYBE I CAN'T STOP THE DOWNPOUR, BUT I WILL ALWAYS JOIN YOU FOR A WALK IN THE RAIN"

 June 12, 2023
Lassen started swim lessons today and it was so good for my heart because he was loving it and he was hilarious, which was then making me laugh so hard I was almost crying. I think all the other moms were thinking “chill out lady” haha! Lassen’s goggles kept falling down, or breaking and he didn’t seem to care. He would sit on the edge while the teacher was working with another kid, but was kicking and laughing – hopefully he’s actually listening! At the end, when everyone was getting out, Lassen kept jumping back into his teacher’s arms…like 6 times! She kept telling him it was over and he just kept jumping. Pretty funny.

We met my mom and dad at the Beef House for dinner which was really good to see them after the last week. Mom always has a bag of goodies and she had a beautiful card of colored raindrops that said,

“Maybe I can’t stop the downpour, but I will always join you for a walk in the rain.”

June 18, 2023
Today is Father’s Day. So grateful for a beautiful relationship with my Heavenly Father, my own dad, and the daddy of my three babies. I got Kyle a new coffee mug with the outline of mountains on each side with Lassen and Brighton’s names and birthdays. We had a great day at home. I am just so thankful and kind of still in awe that we live in such a beautiful, peaceful place. It is so wonderful to be able to raise Lassen here and know Brighton and our baby can feel that joy too. They would have loved it.

June 21, 2023
We got a card in the mail from Marlie at St. Francis who was our first nurse the day we went in to have Brighton and is now in charge of Memories to Hold. It made me cry because she wrote that “Brighton was waiting with open arms…the best big brother.” Just thinking about Brighton being a big brother makes me so sad yet so happy and proud of him.

June 22, 2023
I am going through a devotional on miscarriage called “Held” and I skipped ahead and found a really amazing section about the words “should be” and “would be.” By saying “should be,” it is implying what has happened isn’t what God’s plan was. Our “should be” is our current situation and that is and was God’s plan. “Would be” is something we may sometimes say but it is shifting towards our understanding that God has sent His son to suffer so that someday everything will be restored to “something even greater than what would be” had God’s children listened and obeyed. SO GOOD!

I got in the car today and looked back at Lassen. He had his eyes squeezed shut tightly and was praying “Dear God, thank you for Jesus. Thank you for Brighton. Thank you for baby. Thank you for family. Amen.” Out of the blue. All on his own. My mama heart was so proud.

June 26, 2023
We had the best weekend! Lassen finished swim lessons and was the only little kid to jump off the diving board! I was so proud. Then we camped out in the backyard because Lassen wanted to see the lightning bugs. Saturday morning, I took Lassen to the nature park to run on the trails which was so fun. We did three miles and could have kept going but we had to meet up with some friends at the farmers market.

Our "yard" is still a dirt pile/mud pit so under the deck it is!

Saturday night, Kyle said we should have a family date night but they still needed to feed cows and I needed to water Brighton’s trees. We finally left to eat at a little place about 45 minutes away around 7. It was delicious and then we found a place to get ice cream too. So fun.

Lassen and I woke up to a storm Sunday morning but since we were in the tent and under cover, we just laid there listening to the rain and thunder. So peaceful.