"HELPING JESUS WITH THE CLOUDS"

 

February 28, 2023
10 months. I can’t believe it’s been that long since I held my sweet baby. It is hard to believe all that has happened in that time. I am eternally grateful I have Lassen to hold me everyday. He gives me a sense of purpose and we talk about his brother together often. I grieve for Lassen and the loss of his brother so, so much. I know he doesn’t fully understand his loss yet, but someday he will and that breaks my heart. I just always dreamed of having two boys and it is so hard to reconcile one already being with Jesus. Please, Lord, be near.

We went to Noah’s baptism the other day and I hadn’t thought much of it or prepared myself mentally for it, and I was pretty much a wreck during it. Kyle was surprised at how hard it was for him too. I have tried to be so strong and there for others and trusting and knowing God has me in His hand and He is holding my sweet baby so close to His heart, but this is so hard and not the story I would have ever written for myself. Please use this pain for Your glory Jesus! Please help me walk this journey well and make You proud.

Little Noah:)

March 1, 2023
It was 75 degrees out today! Lassen and I made smoothie packets last night (first time ever steaming beets=murder scene!) so we had amazing smoothies for breakfast! Then, we went and hiked to Wolf Cave at McCormick's Creek and it was the best. We had no time limit. Lassen was on an “adventure” as he said. He loved the cave and was super brave climbing all of the rocks around the outside. We stopped at all of the creeks to throw in rocks. Lassen impressed me so much because he walked or ran 99% of the trail and it was 3.25 miles! I hope we can keep hiking together forever – maybe he can be my backpacking buddy.

Kyle’s aunt came over tonight to see our house and it was so nice because she asked to look at Brighton’s photo album, which meant so much to me! She couldn’t believe how perfect Brighton is!

Psalm 91:1
“He who dwells in the shelter of the most high will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.”

Lassen kept telling me he loved me today. I am so lucky to be his mom. I have the best boys!

March 12, 2023
Tomorrow morning at 5:06a, Lassen turns 3! Three years ago today, I went into the hospital and unexpectedly had my son the next morning. What an amazing time! It seems so short but so long at the same time. We had Lassen, a worldwide pandemic began the very next day after he was born, went on several vacations, had another beautiful baby boy, sold our house, moved to the farm, built a new house, and moved in there! So much life change in a short period of time. So many hard things but so much beauty too. So grateful for my little family. Thank you Jesus. God thank you for Lassen. He is the sweetest and the smartest and I am just so proud of him.

March 13, 2023
3 years old! Hard to believe my first baby is 3! He is funny and adventurous and brave and kind and smart and loved and so worthy. What a precious boy I have. I made him Happy Cake (cinnamon coffee cake) and eggs for breakfast. It was snowing today but we got out so he could ride his bike and help Grandad work cows. We talked about Brighton celebrating him in Heaven and Lassen said, “No, Brighton is helping Jesus with the clouds.”