CONSIDER IT PURE JOY
June 23, 2022
Lassen and I were talking about what Brighton might be doing and I
suggested flying. Lassen said “moon” so we talked about Brighton flying to the
moon. Then he said “Jesus holding.” So sweet. I pray God always gives Lassen sweet
insights into what his brother is doing.
June 24, 2022
Kyle’s oldest sister and a bunch of their friends came to the farm
so Lassen has a lot of people to play with which is so fun. I am so thankful I
have Kari and Ann because no one else remotely understands (and not that I expect
or would want them to!) what it is like to lose a child. Kari made the comment
that it can feel lonely and I didn’t think that because I have so much support,
but she is right. It is lonely. The sunset was incredible tonight and I was
just sad and missing Brighton so much. A flaming orange sunbeam was shooting up
out of the center of the sun. He is safe and loved more and better than I could
ever love him. He is being held by Jesus.
Ann sent me the most
incredible gift basket from this non-profit called Treasured in Heaven. They had
given her one for Ember. There were so many amazing personalized gifts that
honored Brighton. A painting of Jesus holding him with his name and birthday.
His name with the words from Revelation 21:4 making up each letter! A keychain
with his name for Kyle. A wooden block. Many, many other sweet gifts. So grateful
for friends who keep reminding me they haven’t forgotten him or me!
June 27, 2022
We decided on a date for Brighton’s Celebration of Life: October 8,
2022. We will have a meal, paint rocks to go around our new house and trees,
ride the hay wagon out to the hill that we are naming "Brighton's Hill", plant our trees, and fly kites. God, I miss him so much
and I know You are holding him close with the best love he could ever know, but
still my heart aches to hold him myself. I keep reminding myself that my time
without him will just be a blip in the grand scheme of things—it isn’t a goodbye,
just a see you soon and forever.
June 29, 2022
Time has gone so fast. So many people have surrounded us and loved
us and are forever a part of Brighton’s story.
I had this thought the other day,
that God is bigger than social media (of course!)…I got rid of all my social
media the day before I found out Brighton’s diagnosis and I realized I don’t
have to have that for his story to make an impact. God, please use me in a way
that furthers Your kingdom. Please, give meaning and purpose to Brighton’s life
in ways that help others.
Pops stopped by and we had to get ice cream
Happy two months in Heaven Bright! It all still seems surreal and I wonder if and when that feeling will change.
We closed on our house today!
So thankful God provided a family to buy our home. Lassen was the best boy- I bet
not many 2 year olds come to a closing! Don, our realtor and friend, gave us a
beautiful lazy susan for our table that says “Choose Joy” (James 1:2 “Consider
it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds…”)
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