MEMORIES TO HOLD

 May 4, 2022

“In a spirit of heaviness, put on a garment of praise.”
Life doesn’t seem real. Missing my sweet, perfect son so much. Lassen seems to have grown up overnight and would be (is) such a great big brother. I asked him if he told Brighton hi today and he just put his head on my belly and said “baby.” We talked about Brighton being with Jesus in Heaven just like in his Bible. I pray that we can always talk about his brother and that he will remember him through pictures and conversations.

I have said many times how the numbers 9 and 11 are important to me, that God uses those little numbers to remind me that He is taking care of Brighton and will continue to take care of me. I realized this today. Brighton's time of birth was 8:39, which equals 11 and 9😊

Kyle and I looked through the boxes of sweet mementos that Allison made of Brighton. Hand and foot molds that were 3-D and took my breath away. Lip prints. Hand prints. Foot prints. A tiny bear. Necklaces. And the most beautiful photos. The bear is so tiny but it looked so big in the pictures of Brighton holding it. Heartbreaking. He was perfect. I can’t believe he’s gone. Jesus is holding him so close. Jesus is holding him so close.

We had to sign the documents today for Brighton’s cremation. Although I know where his spirit is, it was still hard to come to terms with it. We love you forever sweet boy.

Brighton always had his hands in front of his mouth in ultrasound pictures and he had his hands like that when they put him on my chest. Kyle took a picture of Lassen sleeping the other day with his hands and arms folded the same way as his brother.

Obsessed with his little wrinkly feet

Will always remember my finger in his...

I asked Allison if she could try to take a print of his lips as they were so perfect and I never wanted to forget them. She had never done that before and it turned out beautifully. 

As hard as it was to look at these, I am so grateful to have all of these memories that I can physically hold and look at. I know not everyone gets the opportunity to have these treasures and I am just beyond thankful. Allison and Stacey and Nicole did such a beautiful job helping us remember our boy.