"HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU HAVE?"

 

May 6, 2022
We signed our final paperwork for our construction loan yesterday and we are officially on our way to building our dream home! At the office, we had our first, “How many kids do you have?” which I had been dreading. Thankfully, Kyle answered “one living son” which then gave us the opportunity to talk about Brighton. I don’t know how I’ll handle that question on my own. Praying God gives me grace to answer in ways that are fitting for the situation and to be able to share my testimony.

We have been gifted with so many meals and flowers and beautiful gifts and cards. We feel so loved and supported and knowing people care about our son and our family is such an amazing feeling. Please Lord, bring good out of Brighton’s sweet life. I know You will.

We decided we will put our house on the market in 2 weeks and move into the rental at the front of the farm! Exciting, stressful, but it will be good to spend the summer at the farm near our new home.

I have been struggling looking at pictures of Lassen as a baby because it makes me miss Brighton so much more. Lassen is talking so much and getting really smart, doing puzzles and seek and finds. I found myself crying watching and listening to him tonight, wondering what Brighton would sound like or be like. I read in a book (not Biblical) that there is a rocking chair in Heaven and it is so beautiful to think of Jesus rocking Brighton.

I was worried Brighton's hat wouldn't fit. That concern made it's way to Mary Alice, who in turn made him his other little blue hats which fit perfectly under his Brighton one:) God cares about the details. He puts the perfect people in place at the perfect time.

May 7, 2022
Mom texted me the name “BRIGHTON” right at 8:39a. She always knows what to do or say and this text was so sweet to get. He will not be forgotten. I spent some time looking at the molds of Brighton’s hands and feet. They are beautiful but also hard to look at because they are so real looking! You can see every wrinkle Brighton had and his perfect little finger nails and the way his fingers were curled…God, I wish those little hands were curled around my fingers. I keep reminding myself that Jesus loves Brighton more than I ever could…thank you Lord for holding my son and telling him about his family.

My milk came in the other day…I am so grateful I am still nursing Lassen for naps because so far, I haven’t had any pain except in my heart.

I am so thankful for Kyle. He has been so attentive to my needs and we have had many vulnerable conversations and have been really open with one another. Please help us keep focusing on Your goodness and one another.