BRIGHTON'S BIRTH STORY: PART 2

 

My favorite picture of my son

Dr. Terrell came in at 12:30a and did the epidural – it wasn’t painful and way less scary than I anticipated. I definitely didn’t love my legs feeling so heavy and tingly, but I couldn’t feel any contractions and none of the pain. The beautiful thing was every once in a while I could feel Brighton move. We had chosen not to monitor his heartbeat as I felt like it would be extra stressful and emotional if we noticed it changing. We felt peace in that decision and knew that whatever happened, God was with Brighton and us. Feeling him when I couldn’t feel anything else was just another sweet answer to prayer that he was alive and doing ok.

I was able to sleep for a few hours and then woke up at 4:30a just ready for the day. Shellie checked me at 5:30a and I was at 6 cm- I had made major progress compared to the day before! She said for a normal, head down birth, it’s typically 1cm/hr but it was unknown what to expect with Brighton being breech. Hospitals rarely do planned vaginal breech births anymore so I was super thankful that Dr. Foxlow stuck her ground and allowed us to go this route.

Our final nurse, Nicole, started her shift and she was once again the most amazing person to care for us. She started off her shift by praying for us which spoke volumes of her character.

Dr. Foxlow’s 24 hour shift ended at 8a so I was fully expecting another doctor to be the one who delivered Brighton. I wasn’t thrilled with that idea because she has been with us through it all, but I knew it would be ok regardless of who was in the room. She came in at 7:50a and said she was going to check me a little earlier than the planned 8:30a….she did and said I was 100%...I thought she meant my cervix was completely effaced. She said, “No! You’re a 10 and Brighton’s bottom is right there!” Kyle had just left a few minutes before to get breakfast with our parents in the cafeteria so I texted him what was happening and to have Kacie get here asap with Lassen!

Dr. Foxlow wanted to do some practice pushes and decided it was time, so she went and got dressed before we began. We then had the most peaceful and amazing delivery. Jesus was so present. I pushed through five contractions and even got to reach down and touch Brighton’s little bottom as he was coming out! He pooped on me which made me so happy – every mom should be pooped on by their baby at some point! 

He came out frank breech, with his feet by his head, and Nicole put his little knit hat and Brighton hat on him and they fit perfectly. They immediately put him on my chest and Kyle cut his cord. Nicole listened to his heart and he was ALIVE! My sweet baby made it here alive! My strong and brave boy. He stayed with us long enough to say hi and let us know he loved us. He even squeezed Kyle’s finger which was the greatest blessing, for Kyle to have that connection with him. I put my finger in his little hand and Kyle and I were just overjoyed to meet him! So beautiful and perfect. The most perfect little lips and nose and sweetest face. He was small but seemed heavier than we imagined he would be.

We never actually knew when he went to be with Jesus because it was so peaceful, and I was beyond grateful for God’s sweet mercies in that.

Kyle went and got Lassen and he eventually warmed up to the idea of sitting in bed with me and meeting his baby brother. Lassen laid his head on my chest and just looked at Brighton and touched his cheek – it was so sweet. I’ll forever cherish that memory of having both of my boys in my arms. When Kyle picked him up to leave, he looked at Brighton and said, “love you.” It broke our hearts in the sweetest way. Our family of four all together.

Mom and Dad finally came in to meet their third grandson and then Kyle’s parents came. Everyone just kept talking about how handsome and perfect he is. For the next few hours, Brighton was just loved on and had a million pictures taken. Our parents all left a little after lunch and we tried to take a little rest. I brought Brighton into bed with me and snuggled up for a bit.

We had several visitors in the afternoon. Eric, from Love, Lucas came and talked to us for about 45 minutes. He was amazing and we all cried and talked about how God orchestrated all of the different connections and timing of events. We got deep and personal with each other. I was grateful for his vulnerability and also for walking into such a painful moment. Sadly, he had two other families to go meet as another baby had passed into Heaven last night before Brighton as well.

We were so fortunate to have delivered at St. Francis because their Memories to Hold program gave us so many opportunities to capture every element of Brighton that we could. We were gifted a photo session from Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. Our photographer, Stacy Fishel, was amazing and Alison helped her take photos of Brighton. They dressed him in the little white outfit mom bought him and then we took pictures of the three of us. Lassen was back home and napping at this point, but thankfully a nurse had taken a picture of the four of us together.

Alison took Brighton to do hand/foot molds, lip prints (these turned out amazing!), and many other special mementos. I will forever cherish these sweet pieces of my son.

Originally, I had wanted Brighton in our room the entire time until we had to leave. However, Kyle and I had a discussion and felt like maybe it was time to give him to Alison for the night. She kept him in her office with the two other babies who had gone to be with Jesus, which gave us comfort that he wasn’t alone. We know he is in Heaven and safe and loved. We were just so exhausted in every way imaginable....