THE REALITY OF FEAR

 

Lassen reading his Storybook Bible :)

April 5, 2022
I was reading a sweet mama’s blog titled “The Reality of Fear.” She must have had a baby with a life-limiting diagnosis too because she talked about the day of the week that signified another miraculous week with our babes (for me, that is Wednesday) has now become a day we dread because the countdown is on and time with our sweet babes is drawing to an end (at least here on Earth). She spoke the Truth that death does not come from God, only Life, and that the devil is trying to use this situation to fuel our fears and try to turn us against God. Please, Lord, strengthen my faith and carry my fears.

As I was reading this, I was bawling, and my precious Lassen stopped unloading the lazy susan to look at me. I don’t cry in front of him very often only because I don’t cry that much, but I said, “Mommy is sad about baby Brighton.” He was looking at my tears very closely, and said, “Yeah” and then leaned in and gave me a kiss on the lips. I don’t know what I did to deserve such sweetness. Thank you Lord. Help me mother him well.

April 7, 2022
This week is a big week – Brighton has been with us for 34 amazing weeks! And I turn 36 tomorrow! Lassen and I had a great day as we met up with Suzy and her boys at an awesome playground up in Carmel, then went back to their house and had an Easter egg hunt inside, which Lassen loved.

April 8, 2022
I am 36! Woo! I never really pictured where I would be at 36 but I am so happy right where I am. We had MOPS this morning and Lassen carried his Easter basket and said “egg” all the way to class. There was an Easter egg hunt afterwards and he had a blast.

Another sweet God moment was that a girl at my table said the entire MOPS group was going to do a meal train for us after we have Brighton which is so nice not to have to worry about meals. She also introduced me to another girl who had her baby boy on March 9, 2020 and he had an undiagnosed birth defect – Benjamin lived 6 precious hours. We cried together and I was just so thankful to meet another mama in real life who understood. She now has a sweet baby girl who is 9 months old. Thank you Jesus for connecting us.

Mexican for my birthday dinner!

April 10, 2022
What a beautiful, amazing day! We spent pretty much all day outside – a long walk while Lassen napped in the stroller, a trip to the “big park,” we cut down all our tall grass, ate oreos, cleaned out the car, and then ran with Lassen to the park later in the day. He climbed UP the big curly slide by himself – so proud of my adventurous boy!

Sweet Pippa

Loves his oreos, just like his mama!

Ran with the bike trailer as a stroller today

I have an appointment tomorrow for Brighton. We get to see him again on the ultrasound which I am looking forward to. I trust that God will have him in whatever position is best and He will help me birth him the best that I can. Brighton continues to bring the light of Jesus into the world. Kyle’s mom had another conversation with a coworker and shared our hope in Jesus. Thank you God for these opportunities!